Stacks Image 1099
  • Stacks Image 11818
    Dallas Buyers Club (2013)
    Director: Jean-Marc Vallée
    Starring: Matthew Mc-kindagay
    This movie is: oscar shoe-in material, true story

    Every year or so an actor plays a guy with aids and wins all the trophies. This is that movie for 2013. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: Hating bureaucracy and the medical industry

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    A Dangerous Method (2011)
    Director: David Cronenberg
    Starring: Kiera Knightley, Viggo Mortensen, Kiera Knightley's boobs
    This movie is: Cronenbergian, Drama

    Carl Jung and Sigmund Frued debate during the beginning of psychoanalysis. Kiera Knightley is a young patient who admits she liked it when her father sexually molested her. She talks with an Austrian accent that makes her sound like a vampire. The married Jung starts an affair with her. Wait! Are those really her boobs? Freud distances himself from Jung after the affair. They drift apart. Then we're treated to one of the most depressing, "What ever happened to...?" ending credits of all time. No one turns into a fly. No one's head explodes. All the horrific transformations happen inside the human mind. Pure Cronenberg. -- JP

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    Comments (2)

    Kiera Knightley's Boobs May 5, 2012 11:45 pm

    Hey Whats up. Come check us out.

    TheErikWilliams September 29, 2012 11:31 am

    Boring. Keira Knightley (aka, The Mandible) is, as usual, terrible only with a bonus awful accent. Oh, and we see her boobs, which are as flat as her acting. Yeah, I went there.

    Stacks Image 5205
    The Dark Knight (2008)
    Director: Chris Nolan
    Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal
    This Movie Is: Superhero, Action, Dark

    The Thanksgiving dinner of Superhero movies. It’s awesome – a feast on all levels – but when it’s all over you’ll probably feel a bit overstuffed and need to take a nap. -- Mick Finnegan

    No shit:
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    Pairs well with:
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    Comments (0)

    Stacks Image 5207
    The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
    Director: Chris Nolan
    Starring: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Ann Hathaway, Gary Oldman
    This Movie Is: Superhero, Action, Dark



    If The Dark Knight was the Thanksgiving dinner of superhero movies*, The Dark Knight Rises is more of the same. Except the turkey is a bit dry, the gravy is lumpy, and the pumpkin pie is runny in the middle. You’ll want this movie to be better than it is. You might even tell yourself “it’s great” because the house smelled so good and Chris Nolan was up at 4 am prepping this bird - but in the end the only thing that “Rises” is that last bite of stuffing in your guts. -- Mick Finnegan

    No shit: All of Bane’s lines had to be re-recorded in post-production. And it still sounded terrible.

    Pairs well with: Rocky 3 – a movie with an incredibly similar plotline.

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    Comments (0)

    Stacks Image 4869
    The Darkest Hour (2011)
    Director: Chris Gorak
    Starring: Emile Hirsch, Max Minghella, Rachael Taylor
    This movie is: A Sci-fi low-budget alien invasion set in Moscow (where it would probably happen)

    How to make an alien apocalypse movie without lots of money or even having to work hard: make your invaders invisible electromagnetic pulses that take people out in a puff of cheap CGI ash and reuse the set pieces as much as possible. In fact, just take any old alien invader script and reuse that too, but set it in Moscow, because...uh, who the hell knows why.

    I do like the idea of hiding from aliens in a Faraday cage, but duh people, you can't use cell phones in there! Sadly, no gore, and utterly predicable, right down to the red shirts. You're not watching this for the acting either, even though Emile Hirsch has promise. The most frightening aspect is that they could make a sequel, but I've seen worse movies made for more money. I suppose if you're addicted to apocalyptic scenarios like I am it's not a total waste of time, especially because it made me laugh. -- Angela Demonde


    Pairs well with: Battle: Los Angeles, Skyline

    No shit: Filming was temporarily suspended three weeks into shooting due to smoke from wildfires around Moscow.

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    Comments (2)

    Max_Heller June 23, 2012 12:48 pm

    Yeah i agree, it was like watching an attempt at a cool movie. It shows you what you can get away with without having any money.

    Horrorfan 13 July 29, 2012 10:31 am

    Just saw this the other day. Booooooorrrrrring

    Stacks Image 4871
    Dark Shadows (2012)
    Director: Tim Burton
    Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfieffer
    This film: can now be prescribed by doctors to treat insomnia

    Tim Burton breaks new ground in this movie about a weird family and a creepy Johnny Depp wearing a lot of makeup. The story is about an ancient vampire sleeping for centuries and reawakening in modern times, which is what I felt like after I walked out of the theater. It tries to balance humor and drama and manages to do neither. Also features an aging Alice Cooper playing himself, despite the fact that the story takes place in the '70s. --Leslie Down

    Pairs well with: Any of Burton's indistinguishable movies

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller June 23, 2012 12:49 pm

    it felt like it was going to hurt to watch .

    Stacks Image 6383
    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Dark Water (2005)
    Director: Walter Salles
    Starring: Jennifer Connelly, John C. Reilly
    This movie is: Horror? Boring

    I dare you: To sympathize with any of these characters. It can’t be done.
    Prepare for the sheer terror brought on by a water-damaged ceiling. A woman moves into a shitty apartment only to discover that the ceiling leaks constantly. And what’s worse, her daughter continues to find a red backpack that’s been thrown in the trash. And that’s pretty much the scariest the movie gets for the first hour and a half. The vengeful ghost isn’t really met until the last half hour, and leaves a disappointing finale. --
    Leslie Down

    Pairs well with: Watching an apple brown, paint dry

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 9:41 am

    If I remember the only real reason to watch this was to get a glimpse at Jennifer Connelly's tits, but I remember not being satisfied. As far as Japanese ghost story remakes go this is definitely at the bottom of the well.

    Stacks Image 6819
    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Dawn of the Dead (1978)
    Director: George A. Romero
    Starring: Again, no recognizable faces here, aside from Ken Foree, who has become a horror hero since then
    This movie is: The first sequel to 1968’s Night of the Living Dead, and THE greatest zombie flick ever... no, really

    Splattery goodness from start to finish, mixed with social commentary that is sadly as apt today as it was thirty years ago. A perfect demonstration that we need not fear monsters as much as boredom, greed and most of all, our fellow man. Layer after layer, this one is a gift that keeps on giving (like herpes, but more fun). Dr. Phil Muhgraven


    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

    Pairs well with: Night of the Living Dead (1968), Day of the Dead (1985) Both reviewed here by the good Dr.

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    Comments (0)

    Stacks Image 6135
    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Dawn of the Dead (2004)
    Director: Zach Snyder
    Starring: Ving Rhames, Sarah Polley and the dad from Modern Family
    This movie is: A damn-near perfect horror flick... no, really

    Successfully transfuses vigorous new life into an old favorite. What it lacks in emotional depth and social commentary, it makes for up with slam-bang undead action. Having the zombies run changes them from pitiful reflections of us into straight-up monsters. Owes as much to ALIENS as it does Romero’s original (if not more- some of the zombies even cut loose a Xenomorph scream from time to time, but we’ll let that slide because this movie kicks ass). --Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED (this one has converted more than one skeptic, as the Doc was)

    Pairs well with: Dawn of the Dead(1978), Shaun of the Dead, 28 Days Later

    Add a Comment



    Comments (3)

    Mick Finnegan October 6, 2012 7:58 am

    This is a good time and Ty Burrell is fucking hilarious in this movie. But 5 stars?
    Five?!

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 9:44 am

    I think I'm in the 4 star category.Maybe zombie baby pushes it to 4 and a half maybe. I do love the shooting of celebrity zombie look a likes.

    Dr. Phil Muhgraven October 7, 2012 7:05 pm

    Yeah, I hear ya. On a 10-scale, I'd rate this one a solid 9. The Doc's going to try not to resort to half-stars, but we'll see. Perhaps I'm still just in a mild state of shock that it didn't entirely suck.

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Day of the Dead (1985)
    Director: George A. Romero
    Starring: Once more, nobody that you’ve seen before or since
    This movie is: A fitting conclusion to the original Dead trilogy that started with Night of the Living Dead in 1968... no, really

    Perhaps the Doc’s personal favourite because of its sheer bleakness. Not the constant gorefest that Dawn was, but there’s enough medically accurate carnage here to make the Doc feel right at home. It’s a character-driven pressure-cooker of a flick that features some of the greatest zombies and gore of the series, and one of the coolest zombies ever- the loveable “Bub”. -- Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

    Pairs well with: Night of the Living Dead (1968), Dawn of the Dead (1978) Both reviewed here by the good Dr.


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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Day of the Dead (2008)
    Director: Steve Miner
    Starring: A paycheck-collecting Ving Rhames, Mena Suvari as an Army Corporal (really?!) and a bunch of other people who should be ashamed of themselves
    This movie is: The biggest load of shit the Doc has ever seen (and he once considered being a proctologist)... no, really

    Zombies climbing on walls and ceilings like Keystone-Cop-Spidermen, then exploding into a shower of Blade-vampire sparks when killed... and “Bud”... the vegetarian. Fuck this movie. -- Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    RECOMMENDED? I recommend that if you ever meet the writer, punch him right in the crotch

    Pairs well with: eating vomit (and not necessarily your own)

    No stars- this film should be disposed of like medical waste

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    Comments (2)

    Dr. Phil Muhgraven October 3, 2012 2:32 am

    In his rush to press, the Doc got the date wrong- this fecal grenade was released in 2008. Even worse to think they had four years to figure out how to follow up the Dawn remake... and this is what they came up with.

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 9:46 am

    I fixed it doc. People need to be warned about this movie. It causes Cancer!!! seriously it has been linked to brain cancer stop anyone you see who happens to be watching it.

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Day Watch (2006)
    Director: Timur Bekmambetov
    Starring: A bunch of commies
    This movie is: Russian Horror, aka, Crap

    I'm going to be on the nose here: Should have called it Shit Watch. Oh wait, I've already done that. But there's always room for Shit Watch II. Or Still Shit Watching. Whatever you prefer. --TheErikWilliams

    Tagline was: Something in Russian.
    Tagline shoulda been: Fuck you and your Yankee Blue Jeans. We like special effects and techno and house bass. Putin Rules!

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    Comments (0)

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    The Dead (2010)
    Director: Howard J Ford, Jonathon Ford
    Starring: Rob Freeman, Prince David Oseia
    This movie is: Zombie, Horror

    I went into this with low expectations, it just seemed like I was in for another direct to DVD piece of garbage. And for one brief moment it felt like they got their friends together in someones basement to shoot a scene of people yelling at each other in a cargo plane. And I thought oh shit here we go…After that opening scene it got better. It’s brutal, violent, desolate, and shot on location in Ghana - so it looks authentically apocalyptic. The zombies are slow and determined, the way zombies should be. I hate running zombies it just doesn't make sense…like zombies make sense? I'll shut up now. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: The Walking Dead TV show

    No shit: The actor Prince David Oseia is not a real prince. At least we don't think he is.

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    Comments (3)

    Angela June 14, 2012 10:57 pm

    Slow zombies are good. ;) It did get better, characters developed after awhile. Sorta like a short story - a brief glimpse into a small corner of the world during a zombie apocalypse. Better than I thought it would be.

    Horrorfan 13 July 29, 2012 10:32 am

    Finally someone gets how to make a cool zombie movie!!

    Dr. Phil Muhgraven September 5, 2012 6:32 pm

    In the worst period of zombie-over-saturation ever, THIS one stands out as the best thing to happen to the living dead genre in almost a decade. If you're sick to death of "zombies" running around in a rage (hey, the Doc knows the difference between infected people and walking corpses!), this one might just restore your faith a bit.

    Pairs EXTREMELY well with: Zombie (aka. Zombi 2, aka. Zombie Flesh Eaters)

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    Dead Alive AKA Brain Dead (1992)
    Director: Peter Jackson
    Starring: Timothy Balme, Diana Peñalver, Elizabeth Moody
    This Movie Is: Horror, Comedy, CGI-less

    If you’ve never laughed and puked at the same time then this movie is whatchawant. Peter Jackson stuffed a cannon with a bunch of things that you love: zombies, kung fu, slapstick, 1,000 gallons fake blood, etc. and then fired it over the top with the force of 1,000 Hiroshimas. – Mick Finnegan


    Pairs well with: Shaun of the Dead, Evil Dead 2

    No Shit: WATCH THE UNRATED VERSION. The rated R version is bullshit.

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    Comments (3)

    ~M April 9, 2012 4:57 am

    Zombie sex, now there is an original thought! A fantastical super spin of what could happen when you keep the undead in the closet and why little fluffy pets should be used as medical experiments and not for kids!! 5 stars here!!!!

    Max_Heller April 21, 2012 2:03 pm

    Whoops I made a mistake when I loaded up this review I had it as 1 star it was supposed to be 5 its fixed now. Sorry. Love this movie!!

    Horrorfan 13 July 29, 2012 10:35 am

    Fuck yeah 5 stars, should be 10 stars. I saw this unrated when it was called Brain Dead. Peter Jackson was the fucking man.

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    Deadheads (2011)
    Directors: Brett Pierce, Drew T. Pierce
    Starring: Michael McKiddy, Ross Kidder, Were not kidding
    This movie is: Comedy, Horror

    So you wake up and discover that you're actually a zombie.... who hasn't right? Anyhow, this strangely sentient cadaver does just that, finds a couple of zombie friends and decides to go on a roadtrip to find his now long lost love, as it turns out the guy has been dead for 3 years. Conspiracy abounds but its pretty hilarious in parts.... body parts I mean..... there are quite a few. In many ways it comes off as The Incredible Journey with added dead things but the whole thing is funny and will really leave you with no misunderstanding as to why necrophilia remains illegal. -- Jen Hayes

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    Comments (2)

    Max_Heller April 5, 2012 9:37 pm

    Looking forward to this now. Thanks Jen!

    filmschoolgrad August 15, 2012 10:03 am

    agreed. some funny parts. some dumb parts. good concept.

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    Death Race 2000 (1975)
    Director: Paul Bartel
    Starring: David Carradine, Sylvester Stallone
    This movie is: 70’s cheese-ball futuristic car action

    Kung-Fu vs Rocky meets budget Mad Max- if you don’t have a blast watching this one, seek professional help.--Andy "Action-slacks" McGillicuddy

    Pairs well with:
    MAD MAX (1979), THE WARRIORS (1979), ROLLERBALL (1975)

    This is great shit!



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    Comments (0)


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    The Descent (2005)
    Director: Neil Marshall
    Starring: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza
    This movie is: Horror, Scary, Claustrophobic

    Bitches be trippin' underground. That was what my original review was going to say, just that. But this movie is too good to dismiss with a one line joke. Great movie, scary, highly recommended. Neil Marshall can be hit or miss. This is definitely a hit. When people ask me, “What’s a good scary movie?” I usually ask them if they’ve seen this yet. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: The Descent 2 (which doesn't suck)

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    Comments (1)

    Horrorfan 13 July 29, 2012 10:33 am

    Bitches be trip pin underground...Classic!

    Sequel wasn't bad either.

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    Deep Red (1975)
    Director: Dario Argento
    Starring: David Hemmings and Daria (the beautiful half of Asia Argento’s DNA input) Nicolodi
    This movie is: One of Argento’s absolute best... no, really

    One of the most influential horror flicks on everything that came after. A whodunit that the Doc thought he had pinpointed early on, only to find out his diagnosis was incorrect. Paced like a 1975 film, with just enough Argentoliciously-spectacular-chop-chop to keep you glued to every exquisitely captured shot. A work of brutal art. --Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    RECOMMENDED THERAPY
    Twitch of the Death Nerve (watch these two, and make a drinking game out of every time you see something that was later stolen by Friday the 13ths or Halloweens... the Doc will go ahead and prep the stomach pump for you)

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller September 3, 2012 5:22 pm

    Jeeeeesus look at that poster...and you thought 70's movies weren't gory. Maybe you've never seen a Dario Argento film. After reading your review I dusted off my directors cut copy. If you see it, watch it in Italian with subtitles. The directors cut doesn't have all of it dubbed so it switchs from dubbed English to Italian mid scene constantly. To be honest you shouldn't be watching a dubbed version anyway pussy.

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    Devil (2010)
    Director: John Erick Dowdle
    Writers: Brian Nelson, M. Night Shyamalan
    Starring: Geoffrey Arend, Jenny O'Hara

    Yes, I've been burned. You've been burned. Everyone's been burned by Shyamalan projects. This one isn't too bad. The relatively short run time made me think I would have remembered it as a great episode of Tales From the Darkside. -- filmschoolgrad

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    Comments (4)

    M Knight's Mom April 21, 2012 2:05 pm

    I still wish you were a Dr. sweetheart. When are yopu going to give up this hobby?

    M Night's Mom April 21, 2012 2:08 pm

    Knight? really fuckin' auto spell, sorry for the language sweetheart.

    Angela April 28, 2012 7:01 pm

    hahaha yeah he should just give it up.

    Horrorfan 13 July 29, 2012 10:34 am

    M Night can suck it.

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    The Devil Dared Me Too (2007)
    Director: Chris Stapp
    Starring: Chris Stapp, Matt Heath, Bonnie Soper
    This movie is: Just Dumb.

    This garbage is about stunt men. The stunts are pretty dumb. The story and jokes are dumb. I watched hoping it would get better. It doesn't. I like a lot of movies from New Zealand. Not this one. -- filmschoolgrad

    Pairs Well With: Getting hit by a car that is on fire.


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    Comments (0)

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    Devils Playground (2010)
    Director: Mark McQueen
    Starring: Jaime Murray, Craig Fairbrass
    This movie is: Zombie, Horror, Bad idea

    I'm not sure how I feel about zombies (infected) doing parkour…Oh wait… I do know…. its fucking stupid. --Max Heller

    Pairs well with:
    Jackie Chan, if he were a zombie

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    Comments (1)

    Horrorfan 13 December 8, 2012 10:56 am

    WTF? I'm mad I didn't see this review before I wasted my FUCKING LIFE watching this. 2 stars is generous dude.

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    Devil Times Five (aka THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL) (1974)
    Director: Sean MacGregor
    Starring: Child-star Lief Garrett and his sister
    This movie is: A worthy addition to the evil kids sub-genre... no, really

    Five mentally disturbed kids escape and kill vacationing adults... what’s not to like? Some shocking child-perpetrated violence to be found- this one sits nicely between the evil kids movies of the ‘50s-‘60s and what was to come shortly after. Goes to some interesting and dark places. -- Dr. PhilMuhgraven

    PRESCRIBED MEDICINE

    Pairs well with: The Bad Seed (1956), Who Can Kill A Child (1976) and Children of the Corn (1984)

    *** out of five stars

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    Comments (0)

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Diary of the Dead (2007)
    Director: George A. Romero
    Starring: Back to a cast of nobodies, which is an improvement, unless all of the nobodies are annoying as fuck
    This movie is: The fifth entry in, and a “reboot” of the series that originated with Night of the Living Dead in 1968, and even worse than Land of the Dead... no, really

    Upon the release of this one, Land of the Dead instantly became BETTER. Okay, MOST “found footage” movies suck. The ones that never fully commit to the format, but keep one cheating foot in cinematic music and editing techniques REALLY suck. For the first time, Romero populates his story with a bunch of kids that you just can’t wait to see die spectacularly. The problem is, they don’t. -- Dr. Muhgraven

    RECOMMENDED? If you’ve got an hour and a half to watch a zombie flick, watch Night again instead.

    Pairs well with: Watching your parents burn your favorite toys

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    Comments (2)

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 9:53 am

    Dear Grandpa George, we all loved your zombie movies years ago...but its time to move on to cannibal films.

    Horrorfan 13 October 6, 2012 11:09 am

    Sucked

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    Django Unchained (2013)
    Director: Quentin Tarantino
    Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz
    This movie is: Spaghetti Western, Blacksploitation, A fist full of fucking awesome.

    The only thing not to like about this movie is Quentin Tarantino's failed attempt at playing an out of place Australian. Jaime Foxx does great as both Django and as a horse(you'll know what I mean when you see it). --The Spork Guy

    No Shit: Tarantino himself says that Django is intended to be John Shaft's great great Grandfather.

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    Comments (4)

    Max_Heller January 1, 2013 1:23 pm

    Quentin tries real hard to ruin his own movie and had his part been any longer it would have. The only time he was worse was when he kicked off an awful unwatchable film Sukiyaki Western Django with an even worse unwatchable performance. Ego much?

    Tarantino's Ego January 1, 2013 8:37 pm

    TASTY FUCKING BEVERAGE!

    Andy "Action-slacks" McGillicuddy March 3, 2013 7:59 pm

    Best movie of 2012.

    WATCH THIS SHIT *****

    CautiouslyOptimistic June 6, 2013 6:06 pm

    I enjoyed Django. I loved Django!

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    Doghouse (2011)
    Director: Jake West
    Starring: Danny Dyer, Noel Clarke, Emil Marwa
    This movie is: Some dude's trying to have a dude weekend ruined by possessed chicks….figures.

    It's obvious from early on this movie was made by fans of the horror genre and of the Evil Dead series. It's a zombie comedy, but it isn't real funny, the makeup fx are hit or miss. Chicks will tell you this is a misogynistic view of women, dudes will tell you the chicks in it aren't hot enough. I'm gonna go with the latter. There is a pretty funny line when they realize that only women are affected by whatever it is that turning them into zombies. One of the blokes suggests it might be a bird flu….get it? bird flu…never mind. You could do worse with a zomedy. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: The wife or girlfriend being gone and a night of drinking at a strip club.

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    Comments (0)

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    Don't Look Now (1973)
    Director: Nicolas Roeg
    Starring Donald Sutherland, Julie Christie
    This movie is: Perfect for the family.

    One of the finest horror films ever made. Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now has everything: murder, mayhem, midgets, and Donald Sutherland's disturbing butt crack (maybe this is the reason for the film's title), all set in a creepy, fog-shrouded Venice. I'm not going to get into plot here, not going to ruin a masterpiece, but I will say the climax is one of the most frightening in film history; it scarred me for life (or maybe it was the brief glimpse of Sutherland's own malevolent dwarf, one of two in the film, that did it). Either way, the film kicks major cinematic ass and has had much to do with my continued unease with short people, dwarves, and other such folk. -- Mike Lester

    Pairs well with: J&B scotch.
    No shit: Further proof that the mustache, well groomed, is a perennial bitch magnet.

    Tagline was: A Psychic Thriller.
    Tagline shoulda been: Don't Look At Around The 43-minute Mark When Sutherland's Ass Fills The Screen.

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Dracula: Dead And Loving It (1995)
    Director: Mel Brooks
    Starring: Leslie Nielsen, Mel Brooks

    This movie: Makes you question if you really enjoyed the Naked Gun movies
    It’s like they set out to create a comedy version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but then forget that last bit at the end where they put jokes in it. Still, Mel Brooks makes a better Van Helsing than Hugh Jackman. – Leslie Down

    Pairs well with: Young Frankenstein, or better yet, just Young Frankenstein, by itself

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    Comments (0)

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    Dragonslayer (1981)
    Director: Matthew Robbins
    Starring: Peter Macnicol, A fucking Dragon!
    This movie is: wearing a homemade renfaire costume and doing it justice.

    It's got a Dragon in it thats not a cartoon and doesn't talk. What more do you want? The only downer is the star is that nerdy little gay dude from Ghostbusters 2. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: The Sword and the Sorcerer, which is terrible but also great.

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    Comments (3)

    Anonymous March 31, 2012 12:44 am

    no greater dragon movie. and no, neverending story doesn't count.

    Mick Finnegan April 29, 2012 7:30 am

    "How to Train your Dragon".
    What?
    I'm fucking serious.

    Mike Lester March 17, 2013 7:48 pm

    Steel Magnolias.

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    Dredd 3D (2012)
    Director: Pete Travis
    Starring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby
    This movie is: Bonafide! Action, Splattery, Whatchawant

    Dirty Harry meets Robocop in a slow motion blender full of F'n GORE! Awesome. Definetly whatchawant. -- Max Heller

    Tagline was: Judgement is coming

    Tagline shoulda been: Judgement will shoot a load through your F'n face!

    Pairs well with: Justice.

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    Comments (4)

    Max Heller September 26, 2012 1:10 am

    Its no joke that Dredd rhymes with exploding head!

    Mick Finnegan September 27, 2012 7:07 am

    Yes! This movie is badass.

    Horrorfan 13 October 6, 2012 11:04 am

    Why didnt anyone see this. I was alone like it was a private screening and shit well I had my homey with me but it was just us. Fuckin surreal man. this movie is all kinds of slow motion fucked up!Awesome Pairs well with fuckin Spartacus Bitches 5 fuckin stars

    Mick Finnegan December 18, 2012 8:13 pm

    Mark Mick's Words: When this movie hits Blu-Ray, there's gonna be all sorts of folks who talk about how awesome it is. Cult status, here comes the Judge.

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    31DaysofHELLoween contest submission
    Drive Angry (2011)
    Director: Patrick Lussier
    Starring: Nicholas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Batshit Crazy Cage Hairpiece
    This movie is: Satanic B-Movie Madness, Cagey

    On the whole, it kind of sucks. But there are so many guilty pleasures in the movie a lot can be forgiven. Look, it's dumb but any flick where a Batshit Crazy Nick Cage can bang a chick while drinking from a bottle of Jack and still fend off attackers, including one with a machete, deserves a little respect. -- TheErikWilliams

    Tagline was: All Hell Breaks Loose
    Tagline shoulda been: Nick Cage Continues to Pay Off the IRS. Try to Enjoy.

    No shit: The movie was shot in 3-D. No seriously it was. Because that's what people wanted to see after Avatar. A 3-D undead Nick Cage with bad hair fighting a Satanic Cult and the Devil. Good call.
    Pairs well with: Whiskey; Friday Nights Alone; Repeats of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

    Put it in gear and add a Comment



    Comments (3)

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 10:05 am

    Not many people know that this movie wasn't shot in 3D it was shot and released normal and one night I watched it backwards in a room full of black candles. Nick Cage showed up (that's his real hair by the way)and gave me 3 wishes. My first wish was that the movie be in 3D (your welcome) I'm still trying to get rid of the herpes from the other two wishes.

    Horrorfan 13 October 6, 2012 11:08 am

    Cage is my NICKA! 5 fuckin stars. Satan is cool. So is banging chicks while drinkin Jack

    pms9PrL67Gw March 2, 2016 3:41 pm

    cooptor and cooptar sonar dreams but it is probably and really frooplor and frooplar sonar:
    These are dream enzymes that mirrors the future past present and future that hustles cooptor and cooptar sonar like poltergeist . The cooptor or cooptar sonar isn't the main one but when they surge your dreams won't be documented as a dream but as a composure and if somebody approaches you can override the living things for example seeing the Tokyo Tower of Babel through liquid bioroid will be consider the tallest building not the one in the The Burj Khalifa in Dubai, United Arab Emirates through liquid trumpeter. You also short of Freddy's nightmare fall asleep you can be a wake or sort of high or just seeing strange things.
    Sort of a play like the Osiriods ones in the 1990s the stuff you encounter in dreams - you willsee high tech stuff that mind synaptic that is looks dead and broken but what people are traveling down the future,. The pheno or phenum is pheno cybertron (the early 1970s version) or sybotol or pink placebo or placebo gooptor and gooptar BW or DW which stands for infusion demons or dieties into thing the main ones here are Beelzebub Pap'rzui and Osiris. Ok time traveling dreams most people in dreams are either zombies or sludge zombies or magnetic hallograms. If they are angy large chickensuarus that is about to stomp on you. If you see a lot of water thing of it as duck or duckling water that is infused with too much cooptor and cooptar sonar that allows you to see the time trip in two or three fold that is if you think you are in 2060 you are in 1960 and so on backwards and forwards. To be in 2016 you have to be in 2116 and 1916 and 1816 and so on just say act and tenact on nithroglyesserin to activate the cooptor and cooptar sonar which how a space ship lands or huddles closely by.