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    Cabin Fever (2002)
    Director: Eli “the Bear Jew” Roth
    Starring: Jordan (daughter of Charlie’s 4th Angel) Ladd and Rider Strong (HA!)
    This movie is: A fresh and satisfying ride of a horror flick... no, really

    This is one hell of a debut for Mr. Roth. He’s got a particular talent for creating obnoxious but like-able characters and putting them through horrendous and nauseating abuse. This one is both incredibly familiar (from Roth’s obvious love and knowledge of the genre), and yet strikingly original. Brisk, funny, random and delivers appropriately on the carnage.
    -- Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED... almost MANDATORY

    Pairs well with: Cabin Fever 2:Spring Fever (2009), Cabin in the Woods (2012), Shaun of the Dead (2004)

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    Comments (1)

    Dugermlqqxo December 10, 2015 10:12 am

    <a href=http://nexium.top/>nexium</a>

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    Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)
    Director: Ti West
    Starring: Deputy Winston and Rider (the Party Man) Strong return... for a couple of minutes
    This movie is: A worthy and fun sequel... no, really

    Moves the flesh-eating disease premise from the kids-in-the-woods to the kids-in-high-school setting and carries on with the gory goodness. Again with like-able-enough characters and some stuff to test the Doc’s gag-reflex, this one’s better than it really should have been. -- Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    A RECOMMENDED FOLLOW-UP PROCEDURE

    Pairs well with: Cabin Fever (2002), Carrie (1976)

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    The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
    Director: Drew Goddard
    Starring: Chris Hemsworth (is Thor), Kristen Connoly (is Hot)
    This movie is: Horror, Original, Not a remake or found footage horseshit.

    What happens when you go to a Cabin in the Woods with Thor you ask?…You get more WAY more cabining than you bargained for. Movies like this are the reason why we have spoiler alerts, You have to see this before someone ruins it for you. --Max Heller

    Pairs well with: Tucker and Dale vs Evil

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    Comments (8)

    Grixton April 19, 2012 12:25 am

    Saw this tonight, and hell yes it is a must see movie!

    Horrorfan 13 April 21, 2012 1:59 pm

    yeah this was really cool. not what I expected, real funny too.

    Angela April 28, 2012 6:57 pm

    Rocked. Could watch it over and over again and probably will.

    Dr. Phil Muhgraven September 5, 2012 6:23 pm

    Diagnosis- best horror of 2012 so far.

    Paired well with: Cabin Fever. Way to keep the genre fresh, guys!

    Maryann Murphy September 22, 2012 11:51 pm

    I don’t get it

    TheErikWilliams October 8, 2012 8:39 pm

    This movie is: Somewhat enjoyable.

    Man, finally got to watch this and I'm afraid it doesn't live up to the hype. Not saying it's bad. Far from it. It's original and fun. More funny than scary. I cared more about the technicians than any of the ass clowns in the cabin. But all I heard was how crazy and trippy this movie was. Eh, not so much. It's a horror movie with a twist. How crazy is that? Only the twist is the logic. That was nice departure. Stoner guy, though, annoyed the shit out of me.

    How many stars: 2.5

    Tagline was: You Think You Know the Story
    Tagline shoulda been: You Do Know the Story, Only We're Going to Fuck with you a while.

    No shit : The flick was filmed in 2009 and then sat on a shelf for a couple of years while MGM went through bankruptcy.

    Pairs well with: Tucker and Dale vs Evil; tequila

    Andrea A Johnson October 15, 2012 11:26 am

    I'm pretty new at this place and adore the design, could you let me know me where you bought this theme? You can contact me on my e-mail…looking forward to hear from you

    Max Heller October 16, 2012 1:00 am

    Contact us through our Contact page Andrea and I'll hook you up.

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    Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
    Director: Ruggero Deodato
    Starring: a bunch of other people who had to be summoned to court to prove they were still alive
    This movie is: The one, the only, and ONLY for the seekers... no, REALLY- I MEAN IT, this one cannot be UNSEEN

    A tough, but important film. Saw many of the Italian cannibal flicks as a teenage doctor growing up, but this one is SOMETHING ELSE. For those who think they’ve seen it all, but not so much for those who love animals more than people (which pretty much sums up the good Doc too, but sometimes, you just “got’s to know”). IF you’re going to go there, then do it with the uncensored version. Even the hardened horror intern should feel kicked in the guts. --Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    RECOMMENDED? NOT REALLY
    HORROR THAT HORRIFIES. APPROACH WITH CAUTION (and the Doctor takes no responsibility for side effects)

    Pairs well with: Going to your room to think about what you’ve done

    4 out of 5 stars (The Doc went looking for horror... he found it)

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller September 3, 2012 5:13 pm

    I saw this movie once...once.

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    Captain America (1990)
    Director: Albert Pyun
    Starring: Matt Salinger
    This movie is: Comic Book, Terrible

    If you spend enough time around comic book geeks, eventually one of them will tell you that this film “isn’t really that bad”. He is wrong. Hey- it’s not the fault of the actors or anybody who worked on this movie. But it’s an ultra low budget superhero film. It’s destined to be terrible. -- Hagop

    Pairs well with: Dark Man, The Meteor Man, and any other superhero movies that seem like they were cobbled together on a shoestring budget.

    No shit: Matt Salinger, the actor who plays Steve Rogers/Captain America, is the son of author J.D. Salinger.

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller June 14, 2012 5:13 pm

    I NEED to see this.

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    Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
    Director: Joe Johnston
    Starring: Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving
    This movie is: Comic Book, Great, CGI-full

    The best superhero movie ever made (as of 2011). If you don’t enjoy this movie, you’re a dick. -- Hagop

    Pairs well with: The Rocketeer, Thor, Iron Man movies

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    Comments (2)

    Max_Heller April 1, 2012 12:21 pm

    America! Fuck yeah!

    Angela April 28, 2012 6:59 pm

    Well done, tons of fun. Can't wait for more.

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    The Car (1977)
    Director: Elliot Silverstein
    Starring: James Brolin (the original Brolin), Kathleen Lloyd
    This movie is: Horror, Classic, 70's

    Uhmmm AWESOME! Anton La Vey as a technical advisor! A car designed by George Barris himself, The original Brolin. If this movie would have been delivered to my house with a pizza and a six pack it would have gotten 5 stars. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: Duel, Christine.

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    Comments (2)

    Car guy February 16, 2012 8:16 pm

    Rad car!!!

    horrorfan 13 April 21, 2012 1:59 pm

    never seen it but I will based on this review

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    Carnival of Souls (1962)
    Director: Herk Harvey
    Starring: Candace Hilligoss, Frances Feist
    This movie: Is so glacially paced it has been prescribed to cure insomnia

    The slow pacing, lack of action, and lack of really anything resembling a plot really wore me down and I nearly turned it off out of depression. But I stuck it out to see the ending’s Shyamalan twist, which makes me wonder why we call it a Shyamalan twist if hack directors were doing it decades before him. – Leslie Down

    Pairs well with: Getting some errands done, like folding laundry

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    Comments (2)

    Mick Finnegan December 18, 2012 7:59 pm

    This movie is in the Criterion Collection. Film School BS. Mind numbingly borizzz...zzzz...zzz...zzz

    Dr. Phil Muhgraven March 3, 2013 2:41 pm

    Starring: a bunch of semi-mutes in Tim Burton makeup
    This movie is: Apparently a cult classic... no, really

    Yeah... the Doc’s gotta call it on this one. After giving it several tries over the years, my diagnosis is that it is boring, overrated crap.

    RECOMMENDED? Only if you are out of sleeping pills
    Pairs well with: MY DINNER WITH ANDRE (1981)

    * out of five stars

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
    Director: Katt Shea
    Starring: Emily Bergl, Jason London
    This movie is: Horror, sequel

    Was there a need to make "Carrie 2?" Probably not. The first "Carrie" was original, creepy, and was a go-to movie for anyone who's ever wanted to trash their Senior Prom. "The Rage: Carrie 2" picks up on the troubled High School teen with telekinetic powers runs amok motif and excellerates it to the next generation. "The Rage: Carrie 2" really doesn't have a grand plot -- and nor should it. Starring Jason London and Zachery Tyler Bryan of "Home Improvement" fame. It's not a great movie, but why not rent it? After all, you know you've always wanted to see Brad Taylor on the receiving end of sharp projectiles being hurled at him -- Handyman Tim Taylor would be so proud. -- The Movie Buff

    No shit: Co stars Mena Suvari and Eddie Kaye Thomas of "American Pie" fame.
    Pairs well with: "Daredevil." 'Bullseye' may not be able to levitate objects with his mind, but damn his aim is right on.

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    Comments (0)

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    Cedar Rapids (2011)
    Director: Miguel Arteta
    Starring: A ton of people you recognize but whose names you probably don’t know. And John C. Reilly.
    This Movie is: Comedy, Indie, Fish-out-of-water

    When the guy from “Reno 911” dies, the nerd from “Office Space” sends the other guy from “The Office” down to a conference to impress the bad guy from “Robocop”/Dad from “That 70s Show”. While there he meets that chick used to be gay with “Ellen” and John C. Reilly. Hijinks ensue. A good little comedy that probably fell off your radar. – Mick Finnegan



    Pairs well with: Office Space

    Tagline was: It’s the first day. . . of the rest of his weekend.

    Tagline should have been: It’s got that actor from that other thing in it.

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    Change of Habit (1969dudes!)
    Director:
    William A. Graham
    Starring: Elvis Presley, Mary Tyler Moore
    This movie is: Elvis-ey, but not very much.

    No. Not an Elvis movie. It will make you feel bad and weird. Nuns questioning their vows and a super out-dated autism "treatment" will bum you OUT. I just want to go to a clam bake. -- filmschoolgrad

    No shit: James Lee who co-wrote the script wrote for the Roots miniseries. And Elvis made some AWESOME movies.

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    Comments (1)

    The King April 28, 2012 10:01 pm

    I live on but not in trash like this baby.

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    Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
    Director: Bradley Parker
    Starring: Jesse McCartney, Jonathon Sadowski
    This movie is: Not terrible, but not terribly scary either

    Da Hills-skis have Eyes-skis with amateur-ski camera work-ski - Max Heller

    Pairs well with: Wodka…lots and lots of Wodka
    No Shit: This was partially filmed in old Nazi tunnels under Serbia. I bet that would make a better movie.

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    Comments (1)

    Horrorfan 13 May 27, 2013 12:50 am

    Caught it on cable. had to drink a shit ton of vodka to give a fuckski.

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    Children of Men (2006)
    Directed by: Alfonso Cuaron
    Starring: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine
    This movie is: Epically Entertaining, Fantastically Explosive, Good

    Ok, it's not like winning Oscars really means much, but when you see this, you'll wonder why it didn't win anything. Or everything. And it'll make you pissed. --
    The Spork Guy

    Pairs well with: Being on the world's biggest and fasted rollercoaster while the world's most beautiful piano solo makes you cry.

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    Comments (0)

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Child's Play (1988)
    Director: Tom Holland
    Starring: Catherine Hicks, Chris sarandon, the voice of Brad Dourif
    This movie is: Franchise starter, Horror

    "Child's Play" is like a jack-in-the-box: it lures you in with the promise of regaining your childhood and then cuts the spring, sending you flying off a cliff. Charles Lee Ray, psychotic serial killer, gets himself installed in a not-so-cute "Good Guy" doll and comes to life and wreaks havoc on poor Mrs. Barclay and her son. Demonic, satanic, and virtually unstoppable, "Child's Play" will remind you of your childhood - and make you thank your lucks stars you're an adult. --The Movie Buff

    No Shit: The police detective in the movie is played by Chris Sarandon, known for playing Jerry "Vampire" Dandridge in "Fright Night" (also reviewed here)


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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 9:31 am

    I saw Childs Play in the theater and I remember really liking it and getting pissed at my girlfriend who hated it.....you know what Fuck Her! Of course looking back on it I may have been pissed at something else she did and I used Chucky as an excuse.

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    The Church (1989)
    Director: Michele Soavi
    Starring: Asia Argento, Giovanni Lombardo Radice and some other recognizable faces
    This movie is: 80s Italian greatness... no, really

    Awesome flick from director of Cemetary Man. Well-steeped in Italianism. A notch above the others. Cool atmosphere and great visuals, with the red splashed nicely when appropriate. Soavi learned a lot from his time with Argento and Bava (L, not M). Recommended if you like this sort of thing. -- Dr. Phil Muhgraven

    Pairs well with: Cemetary Man, Prince of Darkness

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller August 17, 2012 7:41 pm

    Yeah I love me some Eye-Talian Spaghetti splatter films. I own this. Its a solid show.

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    CKY (2003)
    Director: Bam Margera
    Starring: Bam Margera, Brandon Dicamillo
    This movie is: Proof that anyone can get rich.

    This is the movie that inspired a decade's worth of teenagers to injure themselves by imitating stunts they saw on MTV. In other words it's hilarious. Just know that there is a lot of skateboarding footage that you will fast forward through in order to see stuff like Brandon Dicamillo ordering a tender loin from a McDonald's drive-thru. --The Spork Guy

    This movie goes well with: Freddy Got Fingered, a Tourette's Guy video

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    Comments (0)

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    Cloverfield (2008)
    Director: Matt Reeves
    Starring: Mike Vogel, Jessica Lucas
    This movie is: Annoying to watch

    Finally, a major motion picture worse than Waterworld. You might be inclined to stick with this awful, "found footage" movie in the hope that there is a "big payoff" coming. But not even the deaths of the douche-y, horrible cast are fulfilling enough. --Hagop

    Pairs well with: Red Bull cocktails, Dane Cook, and other things created, enjoyed, and centered around young, privileged, white dilettantes that fancy themselves "creative".

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    Comments (2)

    Mick Finnegan December 18, 2012 8:03 pm

    Tagline was: Some Thing has Found us.
    Tagline should have added: And its a waste of fucking time.

    CautiouslyOptimistic February 28, 2013 9:25 pm

    I really liked Cloverfield. There's something about apocalyptic monsters taking over the universe that really appeals to me. If I hadn't watched it 50,000 times already, I'd put it back on tonight.

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012)
    Director: Matthias Hoene
    Starring: Michelle Ryan, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman
    This movie is: Comedy, horror.

    Cockneys Vs Zombies does what it says on the box..... it may have also once been called "Pensioners Vs Zombies" but it wouldn't have been less funny. Throw in some bank robbers with guns ("Mental Mickey" is actually mental!) and plenty of hip replacement jokes and it makes up for what it lacks. In the shambling horde of current zombie flicks its one of the better ones. Not perfect but not rotten and trying to suck your brains out either. --Joe Public

    Pairs well with: Shaun of the Dead

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    Comments (0)

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    The Collector (2009)
    Director: Marcus Dunstan
    Starring: Josh Stewart, Andrea Roth and Juan Fernández
    This movie is: Horror, Gory

    Poor Arkin. All he wanted to do was break into one little house to steal a diamond for a payday and he ends up getting poked with nails, sliced with wire, and tortured beyond belief by the vicious Collector (Juan Fernandez). "The Collector" is honestly a good movie. It's gory, and at times too gory, but honestly delivers in terms of original plot and scares. With creepy music, "Saw-type" traps and boobies, you'll be hard pressed to find a more tolerable horror film within the last 5 years. Rent it if you want a good scare. If you really want to torture yourself, watch it alone. -- The Movie Buff

    No shit: Michael Reilly Burke, who plays Mr. Chase, played Ted Bundy in the 2002 movie "Bundy."

    Pairs well with: warm hot chocolate or a nice glass of wine. You'll need it to calm your nerves.

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    Comments (0)

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    Columbiana (2011)
    Director: Olivier Megaton (prize winner 2011 douche name of the year)
    Starring: Zoe Seldana, Michael Vartan
    This Movie Is: Action, Chicktastic

    Every other scene features Zoe Seldana prancing around in her knickers wreaking vengeance on Colombian drug lords. It’s oddly not as cool as it sounds.-- Mick Finnegan


    Pairs well with: Hanna, live Roller Derby, trying to get laid by pretending to be a modern enlightened man excited at the trend of empowered female action heroines who are able to not only compete but succeed in arenas dominated by staid patriarchal mores, bukake.

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    The Conjuring (2013)
    Director: James Wan
    Starring: Lili Taylor, Vera Farmiga
    This movie is: spookum goodness

    Poltergeist meets the Exorcist in the 70's, wait the Exorcist was in the 70's never mind take your girl to see this and get laid later. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with:
    Not being home alone.

    No shit:
    apparently its a true story…but we've all heard that before.

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    Comments (0)

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    Cop Out (2010)
    Director: Kevin Smith
    Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan
    This movie is: Goofy, Raunchy, Stupid

    Why did I hate this movie so much? Because it’s a giant, unfunny, forced pile of shit. Kevin Smith jumped the shark on this one. Hopefully his fat ass drowned. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: Suicide

    Tagline was: Rock out with your Glock out.

    Tagline should have been: Stay at home with your Glock out.

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    Comments (1)

    CopOut fan February 19, 2012 5:54 pm

    I'd be lying in fact my whole life is a lie. I'm changing my name from copout fan to Beverly Hills Cop fan

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    Coraline (2009)
    Director: Henry Selick
    Starring: Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, John Hodgman
    This Movie Is: Stop motion, Fairy Tale, Creepy, Not really for kids
     
    The technology used in this stop motion masterpiece probably made the ghost of Ray Harryhausen blow a load of ectoplasm in his claymation ghost-jeans.  Don’t show “Coraline” to little kids UNLESS you hate them and want to give them nightmares.  In that case, pop in the BlueRay and hide in their closet at bedtime.
    -- Mick Finnegan
     

    No Shit:  Definitely watch this on BlueRay and a good HDTV.
    Pairs well with:  Pan’s Labyrinth, The Nightmare Before Christmas

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    Comments (1)

    Max_Heller October 6, 2012 9:34 am

    I haven't seen this because I thought it was for children and thats not how I roll. But I trust your judgement Mick, dont screw me on this one.

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    Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)
    Directors: Mark Nevildine, Brian taylor
    Starring: Jason Statham, Amy Smart
    This movie is: Action, sexy, crazy,

    Wow I'm a little stunned. This movie is non stop stupidity and raunchy action. Its like getting punched in the face with a sexy, violent, punk rock, music video. Its even crazier than the original Crank. They should make this a video game only it should be a video game that has Amy Smart show up to your house and give you a lap dance while your playing it. If 13 year old boys could make movies this would be what they would provide us. --
    Max Heller

    Pairs well: with Stripper girlfriends, Saints Row video games, good weed, drinking with friends

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    Comments (2)

    Jason Statham's Agent February 23, 2013 11:10 pm

    We've been reading a lot more of this type of scientific high brow stuff for Jason lately look for more of it in the future.

    Max_Heller May 27, 2013 12:56 am

    Thanks for the update.

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    The Crazies (2010)
    Director: Breck Eisner
    Starring: Timothy Olyphant
    This movie is: Solid, thanks to the Cast

    Look, it's another zombie movie, only the people ain't dead, they're infected. It's another remake. But where this one stands out is the strength of its cast, anchored by Olyphant. Pacing is also done well. Good B-movie. -- TheErikWilliams

    Tagline was: Fear Thy Neighbor
    Tagline shoulda been: Fear Thy Water

    No shit: Director Breck Eisner is the son of former Walt Disney CEO Michael Eisner. So him directing this may be a metaphor for his childhood.

    Pairs well with: 28 Days Later; corn on the cob; a six pack of Stroh's

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    The Crippled Masters (1979)
    Director: Kei Law
    Cast: Mu Chuan Chen, Jackie Conn, Frankie Shum
    This Movie Is: Kung-Fu, Cult

    A tale of redemption and a parable on the importance of working as a team. Also, crazy crippled dudes fuck shit up with some mighty kung-fu. - Mick Finnegan


    Pairs well with: Run Run Shaw 70s kung-fu movies.

    Tagline was: “Two crippled brothers, one indestructible force, Revenge against all odds!”
    Tagline should have been: “No arms? No legs? No problem!”

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    Comments (1)

    Mick Finnegan July 30, 2012 8:10 am

    Q: What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
    A: WA-TAHHHH!

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)
    Director: Jack Arnold
    Starring: Richard Carlson, Julie Adams
    This movie: Is a classic in the movie monster pantheon

    While a classic, The Creature’s scariness is undercut by the fact that he’s pretty unthreatening when he’s out of the water. One of the methods the heroes use to try to kill the Creature is to dump gallons upon gallons of fish poison into the Amazon River. Those were simpler times. – Leslie Down

    Tagline was:
    Not since the beginning of time has the world beheld terror like this!
    Tagline should’ve been: The ultimate in terror – a man with gills.

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    Comments (0)

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    CRONOS (1993)
    Director: Guillermo del Toro
    Starring: Ron “Hellboy and the Beast” Perlman and a bunch of other people speaking Spanish
    This movie is: Something original and special... no, really

    A unique new take on the vampire. Looks great, great characters, great effects... great flick. Probably still del Toro’s best.

    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

    Pairs well with: Blade II (2002) or any other cool, different vampire classics like, Let the Right One In (2008),The Hunger (1983) or Near Dark (1987)

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    Comments (0)

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    31DaysOfHELLoween contest submission
    The Crow (1994)
    Director: Alex Proyas
    Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott
    This movie is: Comic book, Horror, Goth-y

    A man gets revenge on the mob after they murder him and his girlfriend, from beyond the grave. Much scarier than you might expect, since the protagonist is essentially a goth metal clown. One of the first good “dark superhero” movies. – Leslie Down

    No shit: Brandon Lee died from an accident with a blank gunshot during the filming of The Crow and some shots were completed without him, just like his father, Bruce Lee, in The Game of Death

    Pairs well with: Robocop, any movie about a vigilante in Detroit

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    Comments (0)

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    The Curse of Frankenstein (1958)
    Director: Terrence Fisher
    Starring:Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee
    This movie is:
    Classic, Hammer Horror

    Frankenstein is a tale thats been told more than a few times and a few of those times its been done well. This is one of those times. If you've never seen a Hammer film this one should be first on your "Hammeradar". Its creepy, bloody, atmospheric and its English old boy, right right.

    "Ohhh, ello guvna needin' some body parts ar ye?"

    "Aye, I need em for a bit of the old back from the dead-y-wed, Franky-wank. "

    Yeah that last part kinda makes it sound like a cockney porn version of Frankenstein, but I assure you thats NOT the case. -- Max Heller

    Pairs well with: Hammer's version of Dracula called The Horror of Dracula with the same two actors (see our review).

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    Comments (3)

    Horrorfan 13 July 29, 2012 10:30 am

    I love all the old classic Hammers. Is MC Hammer a classic yet?

    Max_Heller August 17, 2012 7:41 pm

    Yeah I think he is considered a classic.

    1ZFvYDQzBLg March 2, 2016 3:38 pm

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    Bodice: Dsquared2
    Thong: Victoria's Secret
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    Cape: Naeem Khan
    Bodysuit: Victoria's Secret
    Necklace: Erickson Beamnon
    Bracelet: Mitchel Primrose
    Shoes: Dsquared2
    Shirt: Tom Ford
    Bra, garter and thong: Victoria's Secret
    Necklace: Swarovski
    Hoisery: Falke

    Jumpsuit: Naeem Khan
    Mask: Erickson Beamon
    Bracelet: Mitchel Primrose
    Dress: Alon Livne
    Bracelet: Mitchel Primrose
    Shoes: Tom Ford

    Bracelet: R.J. Graziano